** This is "joeslist"! Your
(hopefully) daily taste of the war from somewhere
in the Gulf. You get this because I
only get to send 2 emails per day (when
it's working) and I want all of you
to be informed, and possibly entertained.
If you'd prefer not to get this, or
get it sent to a different address please
contact email@example.com and
tell him this. I won't be offended (much).
I understand what it's like to get
WAY TOO MUCH email these days. I will assure
you that I won't be pitching you for
a mortgage or penis enlargement, however.
So far nobody has noticed the
pointless comments in this area or the reference
to Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
If you notice this you have too little to do.
If you think that somebody would
enjoy this or find it useful, please feel free
to forward it on to them, but let the
rest of us know who else is "out there".
Some questions can't be answered due
to security constraints. **
Messages for inclusion to this list
or private personal ones should be sent to:
12 April 2003 5 PM Still Floating around the Northern
Arabian Gulf (NAG)
Berthing = Icy Ship Internal = 80f Ship outside =
82f hot water = OK
Smells = from nearby head, indescribable
Expected sucking never happened. Ship movement is barely noticable
Morale (as measured in the Chiefs Mess) OK/Boredom increasing
index (0=Exciting 9=Excruciatingly dull) today = 8.5
Annoying Event = Continuous 1MC noises (bells, whistles,
Watched: Transporter (site TV), Heat (DVD), Ace Ventura Pet
Detective (Site TV)
Band of Brothers episode (DVD)
Ratings: * = Sucky ** = Better than MRE's ***
= Average **** = Yummy
***** = Unlikely ("It's just a tiny wafer")
Dinner: Pizza (****)
Shrimp Salad (****) Salisbury sTEAK (**)
received = None
Today has been slower than yesterday
(hard to imagine I know). I slept 'til 0900,
showered, checked email, checked the
news on TV, helped one of our guys burn a
CD of a game and make it work on
another laptop PC (he plays it 6-8 hours a day).
Then I listened to the radio, (the
ship has moved) found Radio Dubai 92.0 mhz, and
a "smooth jazz" station on 107.9 mhz.
In our new location, there are many, many
dhows and ships and oil platforms.
The air smells like burning oil or gas, which
makes sense considering that the
platforms burn it off continuously. There's also
a think brown sulfer cloud around the
I heard from the guys who just came
in from "the beach" that the last Saddam tile
mural in Umm Qasr was brought down
yesterday. I have pictures of myself in front of
it (all jocked up in body armor and
carrying an M-4 no less-- 'course we couldn't
go out without all that stuff at
first), you'll see them when I get back or get to a
fat internet pipe. You'll notice in
the picture, a hole in his forehead, added by
a SEAL sniper friend of mine. The
Marines who "took" the port also "marked" it,
with spray paint "USMC Fox was here"
everywhere. And of course, Marines couldn't
just go through a door, they had to
blow it up. You'll see. I guess I have to say
that they earned the right to do
whatever thing (no matter how juvenile) that they
I saw some video today that showed
Umm Qasr and large piles of food and supplies
that had just been offloaded. That
was gratifying. I think that I even understand
the looting thing a bit. I hope that
they calm down and start to act like civilized
people soon. It would be interesting
to help get the lights back on, the telephones
ringing again, heck, even getting the
radio and TV going again, but.. I look forward
to getting home. I'm relieved that
the really ugly stuff go on for long. It was
weird watching the Iraquis surrender
in mass in the north on TV here on the ship.
I've watched more TV in the past few
days than I've seen in the past 5 years. Yecch.
Watching CNN/Fox News/CNBC et all is
truly mind numbing, I hope that you're not
doing it. I felt better informed by
listening to BFBS (British Forces Broadcasting
Service) at the top of the hour on
the radio and watching the TV without sound.
I saw the taking of Baghdad and
Basrah that way. It was exciting. Then when the
press guys came "home" and I saw
their footage, more of the picture was filled in.
Fox news reported the finding of a
mobile "bio weapon lab", but when it was shown
it looked more like a camper. When it
was described, it made more sense that it
was some kind of chemical loader or
support system, yet they went on and on with
the rediculous assertion that this
sub-winnebago was a "lab". It does show that Iraq
had systems built an deployed to
support chemical missiles. Scary.
Todd: I heard an unpleasant story
today: I heard that David Bloom died covering
the war. Have you heard anything? I
hope that this is in error.
That's all for now. Talk to you
tommorrow. Please let me hear from you!
George [next door] comes over every
day to check on news about you. He has
been over every day since you have
been overseas. He only stays about 15-20
minutes. He gave me the same info
[neighborhood news] every day for the
last three days. I feel better about
my memory now. I'm 7 years older than
George. At least I remembered that he
told me the same thing three
times. He's a good neighbor.
I'm lucky to have him next door. Coleen was
married last month. She and husband
bought a new house in Chino Hills area.
Enjoy your idle time.Hope they
returned to you the mail that was sent to
the beach. It was probably the
extension cords, they were sent early. Keep
me up to date, I enjoy your e-mails.
I'm really sorry to hear about
Georges memory lapses. I know people that are far
younger than even George that have
problems like that. The idle time has turned
to serious boredom. I am now
completely irrelevent and plan to try to get out of
here once the guys and the LT get
back. The command also got two more people
out here from San Diego (one had an
operation and couldn't come out initially),
so they probably don't need us even
from a "numbers" standpoint. They have been
sending some people home. I was
having dinner with the admin Chief who thought
that the CO was pretty good about
sending people home if necessary.
Sends to Rusty:
On behalf of Joe, let me thank you
for your contribution to Joe's
finances! I know he appreciates that.
Joe sez <with a confused
Uh. This sounds good, but I have no
idea what you're talking about. Did I miss
something? <sheepish grin>
comes from Larry:
At 3:01 PM +0100 4/11/03, Talbot CEC
Joseph E wrote:
> Oh, I got your SMS
message, did you get my reply?
Sadly, no. I will not send you more
for fear that ch-ching-ular might
bill you big bucks for them. When you
get back stateside, I would
suggest you enlist the aid of an
obnoxious "problem solver" TV
reporter, and play up how the big
nasty company screwed over our
brave fighting troupes. If they don't
give you any relief on the
bill, at least they might get the
publicity they so richly deserve.
As the Iraqi Information Minister
(currently on administrative leave)
used to say; "God will roast their
stomachs in hell!"
Yeah, that's sort of how I intend to
handle it. These days companies can barely
handle basic day to day operations,
let alone deal with the needs of CUSTOMERS!
Even if they had their shit together
(which I can assure you they don't), I'm sure
that the right hand doesn't know what
the left hand is doing. Perhaps if somebody
(possibly an employee) could "leak"
to me an email address of somebody very high up,
or maybe I could get it from the
stockholder info web page, I could embarass them.
Or maybe somebody at the company (who
you could never get to) might actually care.
No. That's silly.
It occurs to me you may know nothing
of the amusement the Iraqi I.M.
has been providing in daily briefings
to us, up until a few days ago
when he sorta stopped showing up for
work. I miss him already. (He
has his own fan club site
which I know you can't access, but
it's down at the moment anyway.)
No, I've heard of him (of course)! He
is one of our favorites! I particularly
liked his "They are not in Baghdad"
comment to which the Marine Oficer said
"He's in that building over there.
We'll just go talk to him."
Here is a small sample of what we'd
"Wall Street Journal | April 7,
Although "embedded" TV crews have
provided extensive footage of the
move on Baghdad, as well as last
week's capture of Baghdad
International Airport (né
Saddam International), Iraq's "information
minister," Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf,
in which CNN dryly calls "an
apparent show of defiance," is
insisting none of it is happening. The
BBC has the transcript of one of his
no American infidels in Baghdad. Never! . . . As
President Saddam Hussein said: God
will roast their stomachs in hell
at the hands of Iraqis. . . . Their
infidels are committing suicide
in their hundreds under the walls of
Baghdad! The battle was fierce
and God granted his soldiers victory.
He granted heroic Iraqis
victory. The battle is continuing on
the main fronts. Be reassured,
Baghdad is safe, fortified and
Comedian Dennis Miller has suggested
he left to take the position of
Michael Jackson's publicist.
Perfect! Actually, I think that he
has quite a future in publicly traded
companies or maybe SBC or Verizon.